Post #13 Wellbeing, Happiness & Good Feelings (1)

Home Learning has both advantages and challenges - for children and young people and for you! This post focuses on ways to promote wellbeing as part of home learning and as an important part of family life.

What is wellbeing? We all strive for a sense of wellbeing, to be healthy, happy and to have a sense of purpose. There are many factors that contribute to our sense of wellbeing including:

• physical wellbeing - health, physical activity
• intellectual wellbeing - knowledge & skills to feel successful
• social wellbeing - our sense of belonging or being connected, communication with others, relationships
• emotional or psychological wellbeing - how we feel and our ability to cope with everyday life.

Each of these is relevant to everyone. However, wellbeing is subjective, what makes one person feel good or well does not make another person feel the same way. Moreover, our sense of wellbeing is influenced by external factors, life events, the things that happen to us and internal factors such as our resilience and capacity to deal with stress.

So what about wellbeing and autism? We know a lot about the stresses and anxieties associated with autism and there has been much focus on trying to assess these and then to find interventions to address them. However I like the views of Peter Vermeulen, who suggests we need to shift our attention away from the negative aspects associated with autism and focus on promoting the happiness and wellbeing of autistic people. He also suggests that wellbeing is too abstract a concept for most individuals and the term 'good feelings' may be more meaningful. If this topic interests you, you can see Peter Vermeulen talking at the Good Autism Practice conference in 2014:

So, if you now think of your son or daughter, how would you 'rate' his or her wellbeing? Start by thinking about what activities gives them 'good feelings' in three wellbeing areas, you could ask your son or daughter or you could complete on their behalf, this grid might help:  

What give you good feelings?	List items here – these can be rated if your son or daughter wishes: 0 = no good feeling/I don’t enjoy, 1 = a little good feeling/I enjoy a little, 2 = good feelings/I enjoy, 3 = very good feelings/I enjoy a lot
Physical What physical activities give you a good feeling? For example:  sensory activities, e.g., trampolining or rolling up in a blanket, playing a particular sport (individual or group), doing chores round the house, playing on scooter……
Intellectual – learning & development What learning gives you a good feeling? For example:  specific subjects, cooking, jigsaw puzzles, shape sorting toy, playing a musical instrument, arts & crafts……
Social What social activities give you a good feeling? For example: blowing bubbles with mum, playing mine-craft with friends, watching my brothers in the garden, sitting next to dad watching TV……

Alternatively you might be interested in a more detailed assessment of good feelings, in which case you could use Peter Vermeulen's 'Autism Good Feelings Questionnaire'. Peter Vermeulen - Autism Good Feelings Questionnaire.

If we are to promote wellbeing or good feelings while home learning, then a further step is to identify your child's strengths, skills & interests in relation to physical, intellectual and social wellbeing. We all feel good when we get to use our strengths and skills and to pursue our interests - that's why I feel good writing this blog! The same is the case for your son or daughter :) 

Promoting Good Feelings when Home Learning (1)
When you have a list of 'good feelings activities' and strengths, skills and interests, you can then think about incorporating these into the home learning day to promote your child's wellbeing. Use the schedule, and choose time, to includes opportunities to engage in activities which promote good feelings and/or which use strengths, skills and interests. In this way you are more likely to promote good feelings, such as a sense of purpose and achievement. For some children and young people this may be relatively straight forward to achieve, for example if your son or daughter enjoys, and has strengths,  completing maths activities or lessons, this is easily incorporated on the schedule. However, for many children and young people their 'good feelings activities and/or strengths may not be subject specific, but that does not mean these activities can not be included on their home learning schedule, indeed from a wellbeing/good feelings perspective they should be included on the schedule and/or as choose time.

In addition, schedules and choose times can be extended to further enhance wellbeing. One way to think about promoting wellbeing is to use Caroline Smith's acronym CARES:

·         Choice and Control: i.e. set targets which enable the student to make meaningful choices about their day, their learning and, as appropriate, about their life, providing the essential feeling of themselves as an active participant.

·         Access and Opportunity: i.e. set targets which increase the student’s access to new areas of activity, which they might enjoy, learn about and savour.

·         Relationships: i.e. set targets which aim to grow positive, caring and mutually supportive relationships within the class, school and home setting, enabling the young person with autism to give and receive love and care.

·         Emotional well-being: i.e. set targets which enable the student to recognise, understand and regulate their feelings and communicate clearly about them.

·         Skills and Competencies: i.e. set targets which focus on new and useful skills in academic, social, emotional, physical and leisure areas. (Available from: https://network.autism.org.uk/knowledge/insight-opinion/emotional-wellbeing-and-mental-health-young-people-asd)

For the purpose of this first post on wellbeing, consider choice & control. We all feel better when we have some choice and control over our lives. Previous posts have discussed the importance of choices and I have suggested how you might present choose time. Further to this is the opportunity to help your child to develop some control of their schedule. One way to do this is to negotiate with them about some of the activities to be included on the schedule. Of course, some youngsters will not be ready for this step, but for those who are this can be an important step in encouraging independence and self-confidence which are essential components of wellbeing. You might begin this by leaving a blank space on the schedule and talking to your child about what they would like to insert. This might be from a limited choice to help them to decide, for example you might suggest they choose between 2 or 3 of the 'good feeling activities', which they then add  to their schedule, thus giving them some control. For older youngsters, having choices and being able to have some control of aspects of their day is empowering. Making choices and being able to organise and control your own schedule is an important life skill - I have seen many examples of students in further and higher education who made use of schedules on their smart phones and who were able to exercise their autonomy by organising their busy timetables, controlling spects of their lives and making important choices and decisions - all essential for wellbeing.  

Key points:

1. Identify activities that give your son or daughter good feelings
2. Identify strengths, skills & interests
3. Use these good feelings activities, and strengths & interests, to promote wellbeing as part of the home learning day
4. Use the schedule to offer opportunites for some control and choices.

So do not be afraid to include activities which your child enjoys as an integral part of the home learning day. In doing so you will be promoting your child's happiness and wellbeing, which in turn will enhance learning - we all learn better when we feel good!

Future posts: Wellbeing (2) will explore learning new skills and trying new opportunities; Wellbeing (3) contact & relationships, Wellbeing (4) Emotional wellbeing (the hardest bit, but very important!)