Post #18 Autism Home Learning & Teenagers

Issues regarding the current situation are of concern to many autistic teenagers. There are some specific areas which are important to consider if you have a teenage son or daughter who is home learning. In this post I consider some of the  issues which may be impacting your teen at this time.

Many of my previous posts are also relevant to autistic teenagers, so why the need for a specific post on the issues which may be impacting your teen son or daughter? Well, firstly I have had many requests for this topic and secondly I would like to show how the negatives of the current lockdown situation can be used to teach positive skills.




Use the current situation to teach RESILIENCE. 
COVID-19 poses a global challenge and as a nation we are being forced to work in new ways in order to adapt to changes imposed across society. We know that change for autistic people can cause intense anxiety and many may prefer to adhere to favourite routines. Parents know that schools and colleges closing, and the requirement to complete school or college work at home, is enormously challenging. The changes required will have made many parents anxious, for themselves and for their autistic sons and daughters. However, this is an opportunity to teach autistic youngsters about resilience and to turn a negative into a positive. 

What is resilience? One person on the spectrum says this: Genuine resilience is a great thing to have. It is one of the most potent weapons in an Autistic person's arsenal of coping strategies. 

MIND states: Resilience is not simply a person’s ability to ‘bounce back’, but their capacity to adapt in the face of challenging circumstances, whilst maintaining a stable mental wellbeing.

Watch the film made by YoungMinds for explanations of resilience by young people:

What we know for certain about life is that it is full of ups and downs and there WILL always be changes and disruptions to routines. The current situation is a time of huge change for everyone and we are all faced with trying to cope in an uncertain situation. What we also know is that it is resilience that enables us to deal with the changes that are impacting how we live our lives and to cope with the worrying consequences of COVID-19. 

Key characteristics of the autistic spectrum result in huge challenges when faced with change and uncertainty and difficulties with flexibility mean that change and unpredictability are hard to cope with. Autistic teenagers may be less resilient than their peers in part due to the nature of their autism and the difficulties coping with the consequences of living in an environment that may not be autism-friendly. They may experience more 'knock backs' than their peers. However, resilience can be taught and learned and, whilst we would not choose the current situation, we can seize the opportunity to teach autistic young people that they are resilient and can use this experience to strengthen their resilience.

Resilience is a balance between our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. This animation explains how these are connected and ways to build resilience:

So, how can you help to strengthen your son's or daughter's resilience? First things first.... as indicated in earlier posts, one of the main challenges faced by everyone is the current change to routines. This may be causing intense anxiety and/or worries in many autistic teenagers. So there is a need for new structure and routines at home, in order to continue learning and also to reduce anxieties. Most schools are providing online teaching activities, so it should be relatively straight forward to set up a timetable or schedule. However, there are a couple of important points to consider which your teenage son or daughter may need your support with. First, a clear explanation about learning at home, and the need to be aware of how much work can be completed when you are studying alone rather than in a busy classroom, is important. Your son or daughter may regard the home learning timetable as needing to be structured in identical timeslots to the school timetable. This places huge demands when working alone, as activities may be completed more quickly than in the classroom where there may be interruptions, group discussion and so on. So discuss the need to be flexible with time allocated to each subject and encourage your son or daughter to build brain and/or sensory breaks into their timetable. Second, your son or daughter may be wanting greater independence, like most teenagers, so it is important to give them time to process what is required by their school and subject teachers and to decide for themselves what their home timetable will look like. It is more effective to take a step back, which enables your child to think through what they need to do independently. You might then have some conversations about flexible timings and breaks, but again give your son or daughter time to reflect on the points you make and come to a decision for themselves for how this could work for them. Obviously some young people will need more support to structure their time but for those who are ready, encouraging their independence in organising their time teaches positive skills for life. Learning new routines at this time shows you son or daughter that they CAN cope with change and they CAN be flexible - resilience is about changing I CAN'T to I CAN!

Thinking now about the need for balance between physical/mental/emotional wellbeing, building in time for activities which support these might also help to build resilience. Brain breaks can be used to support physical health, with regular exercise included in the daily timetable. Access to usual sports or physical activities may not be available, so encourage your son or daughter to try something new and encourage them to decide where to include exercise on their timetable. Sleep is also important, yet many autistic people struggle with sleep for a variety of reasons. If your son or daughter is having trouble sleeping, you might be interested to read this guide: Sleep strategies for autistic teens. 

Learning new things, facing new learning challenges and setting and achieving a goal support helps builds resilience. A 'try, try, try again' attitude to learning is valuable and again we can take advantage of he current situation to support youngsters to tackle the new challenge of learning at home. Studying at home is in itself a new learning goal - help your son or daughter to set goals and to recognise and enjoy what they have achieved. Importantly, also help them to recognise when learning is a challenge and not to give up. Help them to find ways to overcome the challenge - for example, research the topic and find a different way to approach a problem, or communicate with the relevant teacher and ask for help. Lack of resilience can result in giving up when faced with a challenge, so teaching your son or daughter to keep trying and to find ways to overcome a learning challenge will help to build their resilience. The more they face challenges and find ways to overcome them, the stronger their ability to 'bounce back' when faced with life's challenges. We may have a tendency to protect our children from challenges as we know the difficulties they experience, but it is better to help them to experience challenges and to learn how to deal with them - so don't be afraid to set small challenges for your son or daughter, or suggest they set themselves a new goal. Help them to find strategies to overcome challenges, rather than give up. 

An important part of wellbeing and resilience is being connected to other people. This is a particular challenge at the current time, but again you can use this time as an opportunity to support your son or daughter to stay connected to their peers, friends and wider family. There has been an explosion of means by which we can stay connected virtually which your son or daughter may be enjoying, although be aware that some youngsters may feel overwhelmed by the demand for multiple virtual interactions during the learning day. If this is the case, encourage your son or daughter to let their teachers know as there may be alternatives. Helping your son or daughter to maintain their friendships is important and they may be missing the face-to-face interactions they usually have. There are lots of Apps which may help to facilitate social interactions with friends and family, so you might explore some of these and suggest which might be enjoyable for your child and friend(s). Extra care may be needed in supporting/advising your teen regarding the use of social media to stay connected at this time - they may have more time available to them whilst they learn at home and may spend much of that time on social media, so do be aware of the potential risks too. Having your teen at home also offers opportunities for you to communicate with each other. You might build in time in the new daily routine to talk with each other. For example, you might use a daily exercise for 'walk and talk' together - this can be a good way to chat with your son or daughter about any topic that arises. Take the opportunity of the current situation to foster connections between siblings - shared activities can create good feelings which strengthen wellbeing and resilience. Doing things for others also helps build confidence and self-esteem and can be another way of feeling connected to others - for example, ask your teenager to take care of a younger sibling while you are busy, or even to give you a break! One of the ways that can help all of us in a situation such as the current one is to do things for others, to feel we are helping in some small way. Perhaps your son or daughter could take some shopping to a neighbour, or put out and collect a neighbour's bins. One of the big positives as a result of the current crisis is the feeling of being connected to others in the local community - use this as an opportunity for your autistic child to forge some connections with others and to feel a sense of belonging. Knowing that 'we are all in this together' brings strength at a time of concern and again is a good opportunity to demonstrate how we can be resilient and support each other when times are challenging.

Encourage your son or daughter to take time to express how they are feeling in a creative way. My previous post considered the use of structured strategies to support your child to express how they are feeling, but expressing emotions through creativity is equally valuable. Again, suggest they build in time for creative activities that they may not usually have time for, or suggest creative activities for the family to try and have fun together. Creative activities which combine special interests can support emotional communication. Suggest new ideas to be creative, for example,  perhaps encourage your son or daughter to document this lockdown through photography.

Finally, seize the opportunity for your autistic teenager to have time in their day to just be themselves. Or just encourage them to enjoy present activities - e.g., go for a walk and actively notice things around you and to enjoy them. School/college days are extremely busy and there is constant pressure and risk of overload, so use home learning to take advantage of opportunities for your son or daughter to 'just be'. Mindfulness, or 'being in the moment', can increase enjoyment of the everyday and is thought to increase resilience. Learning how to manage anxiety and to relax is a way to teach young people how to calm when faced with stress, for example through mindful activities such as yoga.

In summary, teach your autistic teenager to:

You may be interested in reading these: Teaching resilience, Tips for parents of autistic teens, Blog - resilience, Autism & mental health problems (this includes supporting resilience & some resources), Life skills for teenagers (not specifically for autism, but some useful content), Apps for wellbeing (some useful apps, including feeling good for teens). See also: Know your normal (Wellbeing post 4) which includes a 'know your normal' toolkit to "help young people outline what their 'normal' is so they can explain to those who support them when they aren't feeling themselves". 

Key points:
1. Use this opportunity to teach resilience.
2. Develop new routines & build in greater independence.
3. Balance physical, mental and emotional health & wellbeing
4. Use opportunities to add in: exercise, making connections with others,  creativity & time to 'just be'.