Post #20 Taking care of YOU
So, the uncertainty goes on and autism home learning continues. Many parents are feeling worn down and some are struggling with the enormity of their situation. This post is about YOU and considers ways to take care of yourself.
The wellbeing of our children is a priority and I have already posted my thoughts and suggestions for how to support their wellbeing during this challenging time. However, in this post I focus on YOUR wellbeing, at a time perhaps when you are losing motivation and/or anxieties are increasing as political talk turns to sending our children back to school.
I am mindful of 'information & advice overload' and whilst most of this is well-intentioned, nevertheless for some this adds to a sense of failing and feelings of guilt for not achieving what many others appear to be successful at. I do NOT want to add to what may feel like yet more advice, which adds to your sense of feeling overwhelmed. Instead I hope that my thoughts and tips may offer a glimmer of light and support for you as an individual.
Ok, so many of my previous posts have focused upon supporting your child's wellbeing. Much of what I have considered could also be applied to yourself. For example, recognising and managing your own anxieties, building your own resilience and ability to keep 'bouncing back'. However, for many of you your own wellbeing has taken a back-seat as you prioritise supporting your child/ren. So, how can you take care of you if you are feeling overwhelmed, perhaps have feelings of hopelessness and are struggling to support your children and yourself?
4 tips to look after yourself:
CONNECT, REACH OUT
Reach out for support for you, you are not alone,
many others feel the same way. Getting help for you also helps you to support your child.
Talk to: family & friends, your child’s school.
Connect with a local autism organisation – many are offering support & can also put you in touch with other sources of support.
Contact National Autistic Society’s ‘parent to parent service’: Parent to Parent
Please seek help from your GP if your physical &/or mental health is of concern.
Find some time for YOU to relax & do something you enjoy - see if you can build in some time for this within your child's schedule, perhaps they can play with sensory activities or have computer gaming time, while you take a few minutes for yourself. Play your favourite music that takes your mind to a 'happy place' - mine is Bruce Springsteen 'Born to Run'!
Be realistic! Set yourself one goal & tackle it one step at a time. If you set too many expectations for yourself and your child, you may both feel overwhelmed. It is better to be successful with one small activity, than try too many and feel you have failed.
Finally, if your child is struggling with expectations to learn at home, take a step back from 'formal' learning activities and plan instead for activities that your child enjoys. You may find that if you take the pressure off yourself, this has a positive effect on your child. Try to have some fun together, or relax together; join your child in his or her interests (see wellbeing 3 post) and enjoy the good moments. Stepping back from formal learning and finding ways for you and your child to enjoy being together is success, not failure!
Take care of yourself and reach out for help & support for you.
For further information and signposts to other sources of support, see:
Guidance mental health & wellbeing or Mental wellbeing while staying at home
Connect with a local autism organisation – many are offering support & can also put you in touch with other sources of support.
Contact National Autistic Society’s ‘parent to parent service’: Parent to Parent
Please seek help from your GP if your physical &/or mental health is of concern.
Find some time for YOU to relax & do something you enjoy - see if you can build in some time for this within your child's schedule, perhaps they can play with sensory activities or have computer gaming time, while you take a few minutes for yourself. Play your favourite music that takes your mind to a 'happy place' - mine is Bruce Springsteen 'Born to Run'!
Be realistic! Set yourself one goal & tackle it one step at a time. If you set too many expectations for yourself and your child, you may both feel overwhelmed. It is better to be successful with one small activity, than try too many and feel you have failed.
Finally, if your child is struggling with expectations to learn at home, take a step back from 'formal' learning activities and plan instead for activities that your child enjoys. You may find that if you take the pressure off yourself, this has a positive effect on your child. Try to have some fun together, or relax together; join your child in his or her interests (see wellbeing 3 post) and enjoy the good moments. Stepping back from formal learning and finding ways for you and your child to enjoy being together is success, not failure!
Take care of yourself and reach out for help & support for you.
For further information and signposts to other sources of support, see:
Guidance mental health & wellbeing or Mental wellbeing while staying at home
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