Post #35 Behaviour (3): Behaviour and Communication

An essential part of the behaviour iceberg is communication. Most behaviours have meaning, but we need to make sure we proactively look for that meaning. A shift in mindset from focusing upon a behaviour to thinking about communication helps to have a more positive focus and attitude towards behaviour. 

The iceberg model helps us to think about the underlying reasons for behaviour and to try to understand how the individual might be feeling. Behaviours are often an expression of how someone is feeling and it can be useful therefore to think about behaviour as communication. Communication involves intentionally sending messages to another person, with the expectation that they will respond in some way. 

Whilst not all behaviours are intentional communication, it is helpful for us to think about communication as integral to behaviour as this helps to develop supportive strategies. Professor Rita Jordan, renowned for her knowledge of autism, explains: 

“The most useful positive approach is to treat the unwanted behaviour as a form of communication, whether or not it was intended as such”. 

If we go with this idea, then whenever we think about behaviour, we should also be thinking about communication and the (potential) messages behind the behaviour.

So, how do we work out the message?

As indicated in previous posts, the purpose of a behaviour will be different for each individual, therefore the message (intended or not) will also be different for each individual. Working out the message may sometimes be easy and often more difficult. By the time behaviour has become challenging, an individual will be experiencing heightened feelings and it is most likely their communication skills have dropped. The same is true of us all – when we feel intense feelings, such as fear or frustration, we may not be able to talk about how we feel but we may well show it through the ways in which we behave. So youngsters who may usually be verbal and articulate will most likely not be able to say how they feel. A child who usually communicates using pictures may not be able to when experiencing intense feelings. At these times, it is not surprising that messages are communicated through behaviour. 

If we can 'read the message' behind a behaviour, we can build a communication bridge between us, with greater understanding and a more positive approach to 'managing' a behaviour.

You know your son or daughter best and you already have experience of ‘reading’ their communication messages. Use your knowledge of your son or daughter and how their autism affects them to figure out the possible message behind their behaviour. Observing your child in different contexts (as indicated in behaviour posts 1 & 2) will help you to identify potential reasons and feelings driving a behaviour and, as you observe, ask yourself ‘what might they be trying to tell me?’ 

The example below shows how observations might be recorded for James  who is biting his hand at home:

By thinking about the message behind the behaviour, this shifts our focus and helps us to direct our attention to teaching new skills, rather than using rewards and sanctions in isolation. This more often than not helps us to identify new communication skills which we could teach and which may consequently replace the behaviour. This is a much more positive approach to thinking about changing behaviour.

Points to remember: 

• Think about your child’s behaviour and communication messages at a time when things are calm. Use this time to reflect and to gather some information using the iceberg model. This information will be helpful in planning a strategy (future posts).
• You might not ‘read’ the message correctly the first time… don’t give up, consider a different message.
• If you figure out the message, you may need to try different strategies before you find one that works for your child.

This is a proactive, problem-solving approach to behaviour which may take time, but may have longer-term benefits for your son or daughter and for you.

Next posts - strategies

Reference: Jordan, R, (2001) Autism with Severe Learning Difficulties. London: Souvenir